What values do you want to instill in your children?
What beliefs and philosophies in life do you want to share and impart to your children?
What about family traditions? Culture? What would you like your child to grow up to be?
How do you plan to instill those values and beliefs to your children? Are you going to tell them? Teach them? Send them to school to learn?
Now let’s switch back the clock. Ask yourself this question: how did you learn all the family’s values, aspirations, beliefs, and home culture? Who taught you the values you now have?
You learned those by observing and learning from your family members, didn’t you? You followed the family cue and copied. You believed what they were doing was the right way to do it, so you mimicked and followed.
So how do you impart your values and beliefs onto your children?
Your child learns from WHO you are rather than what you say or tell them
Learning and beliefs start with you. In order to influence or share your wisdom with your children or other people in your life, listen to youself. It all starts with you and your energy, your inner guidance, i.e. your thoughts, feelings and actions.
For example, if you believe that making one meal time a family-time, whereby everyone will meet at dinner time and have dinner together, you will enforce this value upon your family and everyone will follow suit.
Another example: if you are not a fan of clubbing and your elder child loves clubbing with his friends, talk about being sensible. Being empathetic to your child’s plight and aware that this is your belief and not your child’s, you have to come to an agreement with him as to what time he will be back home and what to look out for – i.e. negotiating important things.
Your child/children will observe how you are being conscious about their values and are willing to work together towards a mutually workable solution. The child will then model that way when resolving issues and coming to a workable win-win solution.
Be their inspiration and guiding force
Through experiencing and observing, your child learns and mimics your values and beliefs: how you behave, how you handle and resolve conflicts, how you interact with people, and how you conduct yourself on a daily basis.
Your thoughts, words and actions will influence your children, whether intentionally or unintentionally. They believe what you believe; your thoughts, your actions, your behaviour and your words will become their guiding force, and will potentially influence their lives.
In fact, your child learns from WHO you are rather than what you say or tell.
Therefore, it is important for you to be conscious of your energy, your actions, your words and your thoughts, because that’s what your children will pick up on and model themselves on.
Be your child’s inspiration and be the example of what you want your child to be.