How you can influence and empower your children while having strong relationships with them

How to influence and empower your children with ease and joy

Connections and communication are major areas that I see many parents struggle with, especially with their older children. I often hear parents express despair and they can’t understand why their children are not listening to them or don’t know how to influence their children.

To make things worse, parents now have to compete with social media for some quality time with their children…

The foundation of any relationship is to first establish the connections with the people involved. This is where you are able have relationships with them, where you are able to impart your knowledge and influence them, to guide them and instill your values to them, and most importantly, to enjoy the relationships you have with them and to enjoy the joy they bring to your life.

So how do you establish the environment that will enable you to cultivate the relationships?

First step: Know what you want and what do you envisage for the future with them?

For example:

  • To be able to chat with ease with your children.
  • Be the go to person for your children whenthey need advice?
  • To be there to share their joy, excitement, their sadness, their anguish etc?
  • To be able to instill values and impart family traditions to them etc.

Second Step: Once you have indentified what is important to you and what you really want in your relationships with your children, then you can work out the steps on how to achieve them. Remember, the core of all relationships is the ability to communicate with them with ease and joy.

The important thing when establishing communicating channels with your children is:

  • To get down to their level, pay attention and be present while they are speaking to you.
  • Be emotionally attuned to your children’s needs. It is about the connections with your children where you are well versed with their non-verbal cues and behaviours, without much conversation involved.
  • Create a relaxed environment for your children to open up to you. Listen to them without judgement, so that they know they will not be judged when they seek your advice or when finding a safe environment to work out their emotions and to grow.
  • Make time to listen, pay attention and be emotionally available and be present when communicating with your children, and build the trust.
  • Finally, love and support them unconditionally. Stand by them, listen to them with empathy and let them know you have their backs.

Remember, your “currency” to have a strong and positive connections with your children is the quality of your relationships with them. Build a strong foundation, be their inspiration, and enjoy the joy your children and family members bring to your life.