Be the example you want your children to be

OMG… I sound like my mother! Or Father!

I am not talking about anything scary or sinister; I am talking about the language you use.

Do you sometimes hear your own words “reflecting” back to you, in particular through your children? Or when you speak, you can hear your mum’s or your dad’s words coming out from your mouth? Oh my goodness, I am speaking like my Mum…

Those are “words” or “thoughts” embeded in your subconscious mind and will reveal themselves when a situation triggers the memory of a similar thought, feeling or a situation. The precise words that were used by your mum or dad that were in your subconscious mind will automatically reveal themselves.

Allow me to share this story with you:

Few years ago when my son was about 15 or 16 years old, normally I would drive out to the junction to pick up my husband from work, and that would take 5-10 minutes.

However, one day I planned to head down to the city to pick up my husband instead, but “FORGOT” to mention it to my children. I just told them I was picking up Dad.  Half an hour later while in the city, I got a call from my son…

Me: “Hey John, everything all right?” (Always the worrier)

John: in a very anxious voice “Mum, where are you?”

Me: “In the city picking up Dad, why?”

John: Sounded rather annoyed and angry “Why didn’t you mention you were going to the city? Do you have any idea how worried we were?”

Me: in shock for being told off by my son “Huh? I told you I am picking up Dad…”

John: “Yeah, but not from the city!! Normally you’d only pick him up from the junction… and we have been waiting for the past half an hour.”

Me: Still in shock, but feeling the warmth of my son’s concern “Oh, so sorry John, I didn’t expect you would notice… we will be back within the next 15 minutes, OK? Are you both OK? ….”

John: “We are OK. Next time don’t ever do that… We were so worried.”

Ok, that’s more or less our conversation. I was so surprised; so shocked to be told off by my son; so proud that he actually cared and was concerned; and he took the initiative to call and find out where I was…

So what’s the story here…

Those words my son used were the words I would normally use, not from a 15 year old.

“Where are you”, “Do you know how worried we have been”, “Why didn’t you tell me…” “Next time don’t do it again…”

… and now I am totally baffled?

You are their role model

Connect and happy family

Children are always watching and learning. Parents have great influences on their children; this is because you are their primary carer, thus you have first hand contact on most issues. Your children turn to you for guidance, emotional support, advice, love, and care.

You are their role model; they believe what you believe, your thoughts, your actions, and your behaviour. Your words will become their guiding force, and will potentially influence their lives.

Be conscious of your energy, your actions, your words and your thoughts, because that’s what they pick up on and model.

Instead, model the values you want to see in your children. Be their guiding force… their role model!