Your currency of connections – your relationships with your family
This is one of the most precious drawings that my daughter did. I can not recall when she drew this, but I am guessing she did it when in lower primary?
I have it on my notice board. It is a great daily reminder of what is important in my life – FAMILY!
My daughter was and still is immaculate with her work; she would organise her coloured pencils and all her stationery very neatly. And through this neat and meaningful picture, it was a reflection on how she perceived the family structure in her young mind. She even included a basketball as part of the family, because both my son and husband enjoyed basketball – she believes in her FAMILY.
So what is a family?
A family can be made up of parents, siblings and sometimes extended families, such as grandparents and other relatives.
Your Family harmony should be one of the top priorities in your life. It helps your children to feel belonged, safe and connected.
I am very passionate about connections between family members, because I believe as parents, it is our responsibility to build and establish strong connections and build solid relationships with our children.
How do we do that?
Be there when they need support and comfort; be their sounding board and their greatest supporter. Most importantly, they need you to believe in them, embrace and honour them for who they are, unconditionally. When a child feels safe, connected with their primary carer, they feel safe and happy and thus are more willing to explore, learn and achieve. They have the confidence to overcome challenges, take risks, self assured and be confident to be themselves without the fear of judgement.
However, the first step to create connections with your children is to establish your relationships with them right now. How do you determine your relationships with your children?
Are your their ‘go to person’ your children seek when they need comfort or are feeling down?
Are you the ‘go to person’ when they need advice and want to bounce ideas?
Are you able to exert your influence on your children and steer them to more productive directions?
Are you able to have a one on one conversation with your children with ease?
Are your children happy to receive phone calls from you?
What experience am I cerating with my children or family?
How do I want them to remember me?
Your connections with your children in the future depend on the level of your relationships with them right now and relationships take time to build and nurture. Consciously make time to connect, listen and empower your children from love and empathy. They need to know you are on their sides and love them unconditionally.
I am appealing to those parents who were raised in a very strict family, where showing emotions, feelings and where embracing engaging in physical contact, such as hugging, was rare. Start taking steps to reconnect with your children and build your relationships with them in a positive way.
Let’s just start with making one meal time a Family time. Start connecting through food. At meal times break down the rigid barrier, start having conversations instead of giving lectures, be interested in your children’s life and start listening. Listen and be empathetic to where your children’s reasonings are coming from.
Let’s take one step at a time; love your family and start connecting today – from your long table!