Reconnecting with your own family/tribe is important for your well-being, as you are reconnecting to your roots, your core values and your sense of self
I recently had a conversation with a friend and we were talking about our aging parents and relatives overseas and how often we communicate with them. My friend’s mum passed away a few years ago and she commented that how she wished she had made the time to call her mum daily or at least more often.
That prompted today’s blog post …
Life passes us by too quickly. Remembering when I started GoKids, my children were toddlers, and now they are in the workforce. Remembering my parents and grandmother were here in Australia to spend time with us, taking my children to preschools and primary school. When my daughter started high school, she took her grandparents on the bus and proudly showed them her high school.
My grandmother had since passed; both my parents are still doing well, albeit wear and tear from old age, but they are still travelling, and are currently visiting my sister in Taiwan.
Right now, with so many elderly relatives back home, and with my cousins all over the country and the world, I consciously make the time to call or email them. Now with Facetime, Whatsapp, Facebook Messenger etc, there is nothing stopping you from connecting with your family overseas? Right?
And if you are still struggling with those phones calls… Why? What could be the reason/s?
Could it be…
What is your relationship with your family like? Growing up in Malaysia, I understand some parents were busy supporting the family, and they may too judgmental, verbally and emotionally abusive, don’t care, lack of empathy, resentful being a parent etc.
However, remember, your parents could only parent the way they knew how, based on the knowledge and resources they had at that time. This could be the way they were parented, what they had learned from their observations, and the expectations from society and families.
And right now, you are all grown up with your own family, so forgive them and let it go. Rebuild your relationships with them and allow your children to get to know their grandparents and their extended family.
Too busy to talk
It is very understandable that everyone is busy. We have to work and look after our family as well as deal with other commitments in our lives. And I can fully understand that during the weekend, you are so tired that any spare time you have, you need that space to recover and recuperate.
However, keeping in touch does not have to take hours? How about 3 – 15 minutes of your time? It may not mean much to you, but it may mean a lot to your elderly parents. Your time is about setting your priorities and resources in life.
Nothing in common to talk about
Why bother? There is nothing much in common to talk about nowadays, you have different outlook from your parents/relatives at home, so what to talk about? It is just the usual how are you? How are the children? How’s work? And they don’t even understand about your work?… Right?
Establishing those relationships is about shared experiences, so what is something that you have in common with your parents? Think about it? You may have something that you used to do with your parents? i.e. Home Maintenance? Shopping? Eating out? Cooking? Your favourite dish that your mum cooks? There must be at least one thing that both you and your parent/s shared or had in common, why not use that as your base for a conversation?
Reconnecting with your own family/tribe is important for your well-being, as you are reconnecting to your roots, your core values and your sense of self.