Two Important Criteria of Self Love

When we talk about self love, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

Would it be pampering yourself with a facial, enjoying massages, going for holidays, shopping therapy, meeting up with friends for meals … or?

Those are fantastic ways to love yourself. However, I am sharing two important components of self love that sometimes may be overlooked due to our busy life styles or just being unaware.

Setting boundaries

Let’s walk through a scenario. Your daily routine would be waking up early to organise breakfast for the family, like parents would do, then ironing school uniforms, packing school lunches, and driving the kids to school/preschools. If you are not at work and when you have some time for yourself, you would either volunteer at the school/s almost every day, running errands for the extended family members and neighbours, and when someone needs help, you will be the person they call. This means you are on the go.

You are the light of parties and gatherings (day or night) among your friends, so obviously they “need” you there, plus your wonderful desserts or dishes…

At the end of a day it continues. After school, you would probably be driving your children around to their after school activities, and rushing home to prepare wonderful dishes for your family.

After dinner, you will be busy washing up, supervising your kids’ school work, folding the clothes, probably ironing until later into the night, and only then you’ve realised that you are tired and need to rest…

If you are a working parent, you may clean the home in the morning before heading off to work, and still prepare breakfast and pack your children’s school lunches, and then rush to work.

After work, you may be rushing again to pick up or send your children to their after school activities, rush home to cook dinner, clean up the kitchen after dinner and then supervise the school work, later finishing off your work at home or you may be folding or ironing clothes…

Can you relate to that?

Imagine being on the go all day long, what would you be feeling? Tired? Run down?

What may be going through your mind? Feeling anxious? Resentful?

Establishing your personal boundaries is the first step to recognising your priorities in your life, what you can and can’t fulfil, what you need and what you don’t.

It is also learning to say NO to any invitations or gatherings that you can’t fulfil without the need to feel guilty.

Fulfill your emotional needs

Your emotional needs are important. They are your feelings; it is about how you feel for the day. Think about the space you allow yourself to rest, grow and play.

For example, if you are tired and you know you have too many things to do, what would you be feeling? – Cranky? Upset?  Easily triggered?

What do you need to do in order to NOT feel that way?

  • learn to say no
  • recognise that you need some quality alone time, such as walking in nature, meditation or anything that helps to reconnect to your inner self.

Self love is not only important to your health and well being, but to your family’s harmony and joy. Self-love affects how you relate to your children, whether it is through love, joy, and calm or being cranky, anxious and always busy.

So as you can see, by incorporating self-care in your life, you are giving yourself permission to be happy, honouring WHO you are, and what you set out to achieve: WHAT you want in life. Because you can’t love anyone properly, unless you love yourself unconditionally.

Self love is about hounouring yourself. When you are happy, only then you will be able to empathise with other people’s needs and love them for who they are. Remember, self love is not selfish!

I would love to hear from you. Share your thoughts in the comment section.

Have a connected day with your family.